Dates are difficult. They’re very much like job interviews (thankfully, without the reference letters) and almost identical advice applies: keep eye contact, be confident but not arrogant, and – no matter what – do not complain about previous proprietors.

I didn’t do all that much dating before I met my husband, preferring the agonising ‘blossoming friendship’ model to the ‘no-commitment meals’ variation. But when it comes down to dining out with someone special or someone new, the setting is nearly as important as the person you’re sharing the table-for-two with.

Thinking back on dates that really got my butterflies fluttering, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what made them so romantic. Was it those sips of red wine with a new flame, our elbows on a rickety table and the candle flickering as we leaned in closer? Or the late afternoon balcony beer with an old one, the fine droplets from the misters cooling our bare arms? Or could it be the ice cream that my first boyfriend and I shared, our spoons curving hollows in the soft dessert?

The best dates are the ones where you sit with knees almost touching and don’t notice the time, the waiter, the empty wine glasses, or anything else, for that matter. Let’s be honest, it’s mostly about who you’re with. But while we can’t help if your companion is rude to the waiter, winks at other diners over your shoulder, or chews with his or her mouth open, we can give you some hints on choosing a great restaurant for a romantic rendezvous.

Location, location
Comforting as it may sound, your local neighbourhood restaurant is not necessarily a good choice for a first meeting with the potential mother/father of your children. If you go there often, you’re bound to know the waiters and other patrons – and they’re bound to know you haven’t identified said future spouse. So yes, they might act inappropriately or bring up previous candidates. Or, worse still, invite you to join their table. The same goes for dining at a restaurant frequented by your colleagues (like the posh wine bar close to work, where your boss always hangs out after work) or parents. Enter at your own risk.

Discreet service
For minimal interruptions, pick a place with well-trained and discreet waiters. Attitude from teenagers won’t go down well in potentially delicate situations, and the same goes for achingly trendy waitresses – you don’t want to struggle to get information out of your date and the person bringing you wine. If you are springing for a really special dinner, don’t opt for a six-course tasting menu. It may initially impress your date, but you are guaranteed of at least 12 interruptions for serving and clearing, not to mention drinks and anything in-between. (Also, there’s that waistband problem.)

Food faux pas
Order a hand roll at your peril. They are just too awkward to hold and eat – cucumber chucks plopping into your soy sauce – not to mention say. Perhaps it’s best to scrap sushi altogether, in its one-mouth-fits-all glory. Building your own Mexican taco à la El Burro, delicious as it may be, will not have you at your most beautiful either. Basically, anything that you need to roll with your hands, pluck with chopsticks or balance between your fingers on the way to your mouth is a no-go for a first date.

That funky music
Meaningful conversation is tricky enough without having to shout over the DJ or raucous laughter. This is where sumptuous furnishings will work well to absorb the ambient noise and create a calm mood. Avoid anywhere that totes itself as ‘vibey’, sparsely decorated rooms with designer (read: uncomfortable) chairs, or bars with high ceilings that resemble an airport lounge. Oh, and anywhere with a big screen television.

Sitting tight
Bench tables are great if you’re in a group, but they are too wide to lean over in a suitably flirty way on a date, and you’ll keep kicking each other’s shins while your feet try to find the crossbar. Somewhere more geared for intimacy might have a few small rooms, such as Chandani or little private booths like at Moyo  or Fork. Comfy couches like those on the top floor at Rick's will also ease you into things. 

Something to look at
In desperate times or when the date is as blind as the awkward silences, opt for restaurants where there’s something obvious to stare at or talk about. Like a roaring fireplace or killer sea views. Ultimately, the restaurant is only one bit of a successful night out. As for the rest, well, perhaps Eat Out is not quite the directory for all your dining needs.

Good luck!

By Linda Scarborough with Anelde Greeff