“Are you really going to eat that for breakfast?” asks our receptionist, Chanelle, while peering over my shoulder at the Thai chicken curry coming out of the microwave. It’s Jamie Oliver’s recipe – with lashings of coconut milk, fragrant lemongrass and coriander – and I’m kind of excited about it.
 
“Um, it’s… ja…” I say, eloquently. (I find it hard to formulate full sentences before 9am, so I’ll admit the defense is a little shaky.) Chanelle laughs and introduces the topic to the growing row of people in the kitchen. I make a getaway before anybody spots my sprig of fresh coriander and half a lime for squeezing over my dish.

As a rule, I try my best to check that the coast is clear before approaching the microwave, but it’s moments like these that have earned me a bit of a reputation in the office. There was the week I ate butternut soup every morning (I accidentally made about 20 litres of the stuff and just couldn’t get rid of it), the chicken stirfry era (a Bernice van der Merwe recipe), and the time I ate the leftover paneer makhani from Eastern Food Bazaar. (I’ll admit that was a mistake; I was somewhat sleepy when selecting potential breakfast foods from the fridge and it seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Ideally, of course, I’d indulge in one of these hearty hipster breakfasts before work. Or pop into Jason Bakery, and pick up a buttery bacon croissant – or one of those incredible mini quiche things with the chorizo at the bottom. I’d also stop off at Orinoco for one of their spicy pineapple, mint, chilli and cucumber juices, and perhaps a coffee from Bean There, my current favourite hipster coffee. But after picking up my three-course breakfast, I’d likely be a little late for work.

The problem, I think, is not only my morning stupor, but rather that I just don’t get the designation of breakfast as being somehow different to all the other meals in the day. Why should we eat the same thing every morning? Why are certain foods taboo, and certain foods OK?

The Queen allegedly looks forward to a rather un-inspiring spread of Tupperware containers filled with her favourite cereals, according to the Daily Mirror (via the Guardian). The Daily Mail reports there’s also white toast, marmalade and oat biscuits on the table.

Barack Obama is a little better. The leader of the free world apparently tucks into four to six eggs, potatoes, and wheat toast for breakfast; occasionally adding fruit, bacon, and oatmeal to the mix. (This obviously not when he’s eating junk food: check out New York Magazine’s fabulous gallery of the US president munching on doughnuts, hotdogs and pastries during photo ops)

As for the rich and beautiful, their breakfasts are depressingly free of butter.

“Most mornings I grab a Fage yogurt and some fruit out of the fridge, or a juice from Beverly Hills Juice,” says actor Jesse Williams (he’s the guy with the incredible abs in Grey’s Anatomy). According to other internet sources, his neighbours in Tinseltown opt for similarly low-cal options like Kashi grain cereal, with rice milk (Madonna), an egg white and chicken omelet paired with a few slices of avocado (Jennifer Aniston), a bialy roll, low-fat cottage cheese and sliced tomatoes (Fergie) and Greek yogurt with mixed organic berries and sliced raw almonds (Hilary Swank).

In other cultures, breakfast is not nearly as dull. In China, noodles are a perfectly acceptable breakfast option; in some parts of the country there’s even likely to be dim sum on the menu. Peruvians are quite content to eat ceviche of a morning, or tamales, which is maize dough filled with cheese, meat, peanuts, chili and vegetables.

I think the biggest issue I have with breakfast repression is not that it’s boring, but that a lot of supposedly acceptable breakfast foods aren’t even all that healthy. According to Harvard nutritionists, some breakfast cereals contain as much as 44% sugar. That’s more sugar than your average chocolate bar. As for fruit juice, the supposedly healthy beverage contains roughly the same amount of sugar as soft drinks. Sure it’s in the form of fructose, and there’s also fibre, vitamin C, Potassium, folate, and other nutrients as well, but do you really want to kick off your day with a massive sugar slump?

And working at Eat Out, where cake is an occupational hazard, you kind of need to pace yourself. So for now, I’m sticking to my home-cooked meals: protein, a good serving of veg and fibre.

My internet research tells me Marilyn Monroe frequently ate steak for breakfast. So it can’t be too bad, right?
 
Katharine Jacobs