What’s your pet hate – the worst, most teeth-grindingly annoying thing you can think of? People who cut in front of you in traffic; empty loo roll left in the holder; noisy neighbours? Here at Eat Out, we have quite a collection of these petty little problems and, unsurprisingly, they’re all to do with the thing we care about most of all: food.

Yes, we know we shouldn’t really complain, because at least we have something to eat, and that’s more than many people can say. But that’s why the hashtag #firstworldproblems was invented, after all: so we can make fun of ourselves. From raw slap chips to not enough bacon (there’s never enough bacon), we count down 25 of the most upsetting food-related experiences. Tell us what you think in the comments.

1. When the butter from the dish is too cold to spread.
And you are left to watch in horror as the delicate innards of your roll disintegrate and peel off into crumbly chunks.

2. When there’s no butter at all on the hotdog roll or sandwich you just bought.
Chefs, don’t think you’re saving us from ourselves by skipping the butter. If we wanted to eat something healthy, we would’ve ordered a salad, not a sandwich. The corollary of which is:

3. When the salad is overdressed.
If we wanted to order something this oily, we would’ve just ordered a burger. Also upsetting: copious drizzles of sickly-sweet balsamic reduction on everything.

Avo in its only acceptable form

4. Any incarnation of avocado that is not glorious, buttery, perfectly ripe.
We’re talking about cheap guacamole; cooked avo on pizza; browning sinewy cubes in the salad; and hard slippery slivers. (Read our love letter to avo.)

5. When the tomato sauce bottle goes all crusty around the lid, and the black goopy stuff gets on your hands.
Yes, you might need a tetanus shot.

6. When you’re at a party with a side plate of canapés in one hand and a drink in the other.
Sure, go right ahead and pick up the food with your teeth. (See our list of canapés to avoid at cocktail parties.)

7. That disastrous moment (and sinking feeling) when the rusk becomes over-saturated with tea and collapses into the mug, leaving crumbs of destruction in its soggy wake.
It’s like the Titanic all over again.

8. When there’s banana in your dish, but it isn’t mentioned on the menu. 
Ditto raw onion and green pepper. Coriander might be another one for this list. Perhaps we should start a petition for notifiable ingredients? So-called supertasters are hypersensitive to bitterness, and can’t abide ingredients such as kale, cabbage and Brussels sprouts. But before you get all smug because of your sprout aversion, this is not a good thing, necessarily. It’s actually been linked to an increase in some kinds of cancer, thanks to decreased vegetable consumption.

Eric Lanlard’s chocolate brownies

9. When the chocolate brownie you ordered is actually just a piece of warmed up chocolate cake.
Or, worse: dry as an old washing-up sponge. This brownie impersonation might be a trend. The editors of the Oxford English Dictionary have expanded the meaning of the word ‘literally’ to include meanings that are not remotely literal. This is presumably in response to the misuse of the term in phrases such as, “Oh my gosh, you guys, I literally died!” We fear that something similarly tragic has happened to the definition of brownies. Let us stop enabling these heretics, and return to gooey, dense, chocolate-and-butter-laden brownies which are true to their name, with only the tiniest sprinkling of flour in their make-up.

10. When you order a prawn salad, and only three of them arrive, looking adrift and sad, because none of their other friends showed up to the party.
Or when your BLT only has one lonely rasher nestling in the lettuce. Perhaps, in addition to our proposed Notifiable Ingredients Act (see point 8), there should be some kind of legislation around title ingredients. In wine, after all, the named grape varietal must comprise at least 75% of the volume. How about something similar for dishes with prawns, halloumi and bacon?

11. Still or sparkling?
Tap; always tap. If we wanted overpriced mineral water with its accompanying plastic bottle of shame, we would have asked for it.

12. ‘Vegetarian’ dishes like risotto (often the only option on the menu) made with chicken stock or imported parmesan.
For those who are confused: stock is boiled down bones and sinews (see how to make stock) and imported parmesan contains animal rennet, which is extracted from the stomachs of slaughtered unweaned calves. Not all people have a problem with this, but you can bet your vegetarian patron does.

Colleen Grove’s baby beetroot, blue cheese and walnut risotto

13. On that note, we have a bone to pick with ‘vegetarians’ who do actually eat fish, and sometimes chicken (when they feel like it) and beef (in cheeseburgers when they’re hungover) maybe a bit of bacon (when they can’t resist).
You’re giving everyone else a bad name!

14. When the restaurant name is an appallingly unfunny pun.
Leave it to the hairdressers, people.

15. When you get those translucent blue or Aquafresh-hued mints with the bill.
What are they? Detergent flavour? We’d like dainty macaroons or petit fours all the time, please. This is not too much to ask. (Okay, maybe it is.)

16. When the waitron removes your glass with the last two mouthfuls of drink still in it.
Especially when it’s 12-year-old scotch and you’ve been nursing it tenderly for an hour because it costs eighty bucks a shot.

17. While we’re on that topic, what’s with the word ‘waitron’?
Doesn’t it remind you of Star Trek or creepy robots? It’s cool to call both men and women ‘waiters’. (But don’t you dare click your fingers.)

18. When the microwave superheats a small portion of your dish.
Thus creating pockets of molten lava, and an icy cold centre, resulting in you scorching valuable parts of your face.

Cara Brink’s salted caramel popcorn

19. When you get a popcorn husk stuck between your teeth and the movie is only seven minutes in.
Say goodbye to your already tenuous grip on the plotline (and your date): tonguing that kernel is your new occupation for the next hour.

20. When you dish up too much at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
This is not in itself a problem (never let it be said that we discourage gluttony), but you need to be strategic about it. You can’t put the lamb curry next to the calamari. You can’t let the gravy from your roast potatoes get into your lasagne. And you have to keep the beetroot on a separate plate to prevent it from covering everything in pink juice.

21. When the overpriced cocktail you ordered is served in a minuscule flute.
Beware the ones containing champagne and those with whimsical names. Drinks with ‘jar’ or ‘jug’ in the description are usually safe – though perhaps not for the road…

22. When the Pinterest recipe that had you drooling all over the screen requires a jar of pumpkin pie filling, tinned chicken casserole, or some other horrifying ingredient that’s (mercifully?) not available in this country.

23. When you run out of dip before you finish your chips.
Moral: always get an extra sachet of Steers sauce. While you’re at it, maybe get some extra chips too. Just to be on the safe side.

24. Raw chips.
There’s slap, and then there is, horror of horrors, cold and grainy in the middle. This is almost as bad as:

25. No chips.
Okay, we can acknowledge that nobody really needs chips – especially if they’re tucking into a giant gourmet burger – but we’ve come to expect them with certain dishes. Roast beef sandwich? Chips, please. Burger? Chips. Wrap? Chips. Actually, we’ll take chips with our salad too, thanks.

What are your worst food experiences? Let us know in the comments.